They can try...
Sep. 4th, 2011 11:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danlansdowneMy grandparents are from a proud generation. They don't like the idea of accepting money from anyone, even family. The arguments that have broken out between my grandmother and her daughters over paying a restaurant bill are beyond entertaining. However, they also have a fixed income and cannot get around easily since my grandfather can't drive any more.
Therefore, we do what we can to help them--give them rides to appointments or family gatherings, get take-out for them, and, yes, leave cash behind whenver we eat at their house or stay overnight. The latter doesn't apply to me since I live in Windsor now, but I do use their washing machine; I don't trust the machine in my building. As I am using their power and water, I naturally wish to compensate them, despite their refusals. I was going to leave cash behind next weekend when my mother visits so they think she left it; however, events today forced my hand.
I went into their bedroom to look for one of their cats; they couldn't find her and the last place I saw her was just outside their bedroom. My grandmother accused me of hiding money in their room, an accusation I denied because it wasn't true. However, since she brought it up, I decided to slip twenty dollars under the iron in the laundry room. It always has to be hidden, otherwise she refuses to accept it. Whenever my mothers visits it's always a game of hiding money in the house and getting luggage out before my grandmother finds it and hides it in a suitcase for us to find at home. So far we're still winning; I've hidden money under the iron twice and haven't found it slipped into any pockets when I haven't noticed.
They can complain all they want, but nothing is going to stop the family from supporting the Big Kahuna and Kahuni; after almost sixty years of marriage and eighty years of existence on this planet, they've earned it.
Therefore, we do what we can to help them--give them rides to appointments or family gatherings, get take-out for them, and, yes, leave cash behind whenver we eat at their house or stay overnight. The latter doesn't apply to me since I live in Windsor now, but I do use their washing machine; I don't trust the machine in my building. As I am using their power and water, I naturally wish to compensate them, despite their refusals. I was going to leave cash behind next weekend when my mother visits so they think she left it; however, events today forced my hand.
I went into their bedroom to look for one of their cats; they couldn't find her and the last place I saw her was just outside their bedroom. My grandmother accused me of hiding money in their room, an accusation I denied because it wasn't true. However, since she brought it up, I decided to slip twenty dollars under the iron in the laundry room. It always has to be hidden, otherwise she refuses to accept it. Whenever my mothers visits it's always a game of hiding money in the house and getting luggage out before my grandmother finds it and hides it in a suitcase for us to find at home. So far we're still winning; I've hidden money under the iron twice and haven't found it slipped into any pockets when I haven't noticed.
They can complain all they want, but nothing is going to stop the family from supporting the Big Kahuna and Kahuni; after almost sixty years of marriage and eighty years of existence on this planet, they've earned it.
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no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 10:16 am (UTC)I felt bad about not being able to repay my grandmother for all the money she lent me, but for a different reason; it's only been in the last few years that I would have been able to pay her back. She kept insisting that it didn't matter, and that she didn't really need the money back but it never made me feel good about it.
For that reason I felt bad about travelling overseas on my savings, because in essence the money was really what I should have given in repayments to her. However she was very keen to see me take my first holiday overseas, and I wanted to bring back photos of the places I visited. Unfortunately she died several months before I made the actual trip. :(
The closest I can come to that debt now is to spend money on her daughter. I know, I know... Somewhat out of character for me. I'm paying for her AUD$99 ticket to the Yes Prime Minister play here in Sydney next April.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 04:40 pm (UTC)My mother's siblings are the same. They all help when they can, especially the oldest who has a lot of bad karma to offset. My mother tries to do a bit more financially since she's not in Windsor. Since I have her car and an income I'm also doing the family thing on her behalf.
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Date: 2011-09-05 08:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-05 11:33 pm (UTC)My mother is like this with some of her siblings as well. While we're not going to retire in Florida, we (all three of us) are in jobs that aren't reliant on the auto industry. Most of her other siblings are doing well for themselves, but we have stability on our side.